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18 January 2006 @ 08:16 pm
she's seen her share of devils in this angel town...  
Have you ever fallen, have you ever failed? Failed miserably?

Have you ever triumphed over some impossibly difficult task, and felt the joy of knowing that you didn't fall this time?

But have you ever defeated something, your innermost sin, and pushed it away, when it seemed you could never turn away from it, yet after you thought you had won, have you ever realized that you would never beat it? That it was always, persistently on your mind, waiting for you to make the smallest mistake to take you down. That the goal was unattainable and that you were, and always have been, setting yourself up for failure. That your highest standards were, in fact, way too high to begin with.

Yet, have you felt that during those times, when our faith is pushed to the limit, and we're drawing near the edge, have you felt God there? Carrying you far above your sin, and your aspirations of this world, and then... You were for once higher than them, flying. Has God ever given you the faith and the hope for this world, that maybe someday, you would become something so much more than you could have ever imagined for yourself. That you will one day walk with angels, that you will walk with God.

It's tough to rise above ourselves sometimes. We bury these sins inside of our hearts, and are yet to forgive ourselves. No one could ever love the miserable failure that they call with my name. Who am I? Covered with the black veil of sin, yet in mine own eyes, my sinful nature was always far darker and far deeper within my heart than any of those around me. I struggle to think if I will ever overcome it. I've been held down for so long, and every day the struggle grows more intense and my heart grows weaker.

How many times does it take for us to break down and realize that we're hardly moving in any direction, and if any at all, downwards and never up. How will I ever overcome this? I wish I knew. I do not know how, all I know is wherein the answer lies. Upwards, in the hands of God. Yet, it's always so tough to deny those most desirable thoughts of the human flesh, and seek a higher moral standing. When will we be free of this eternal torment, this... unforgivable sin? Only upon our deathbed? Can we never rise above this world and all it's wordly ways? No, we're human, and we are destined for failure. We've only to realize that once we seek God, and once we seek forgiveness, we no longer have a reason to live bound by our sin. Because sin and temptation will come, day in and day out, as it may. We only need to cling to God, for He is, and will always be, our only protection against those dreaded "forces of evil." And only once we have found ourselves farther along the path of light that leads to God will we begin to feel free from the torment of sin. Free from the condescending eyes of our own guilt. We will one day rise above this. But one day must begin somewhere... Live today for God, and seek Him first, and one day will finally find us held in the arms of our Savior.
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: we're so far away [mae]
Jesseebonafideataxia on January 19th, 2006 01:31 am (UTC)
cody....wow....i think i love you..no i do....you have a way with words cody, like i could see that being a critical essay on The Minister's Black Veil....
pray for me i'll pray for you..."live today for God..." i like that its a good prayer and aspiration